Silly Lyrics

For the past couple months I've been working on learning to play guitar. I had a little instruction on how to finger the strings and use a pick when I was a teen, but aside from that I'm self teaching, using the internet for some resources. I'm also using sheet music, which I'm partially literate in from playing other instruments, instead of tablature, which gives nothing for how long notes should be held, rests, or other useful notation.

One of the first songs I practised with is Ode to Joy, as it is simple, I like the tune, and I feel is a good starting point with instruments. While playing it my mind decided to put some lyrics to it, and after a bit of refinement I managed to make it into a silly song. Here are those lyrics:

Christ is risen, he's a zombie,
And he's come to eat our brains.
With a spoon, right out o'our skulls,
Just like a bowl of ice-ed cream.

He will eat them, with lots of sprinkles,
And maybe with a cherry on top.
He will eat them for his breakfast,
And if there's enough, for lunch.

I'm sure a lot of religious folks would consider it sacrilegious, but I honestly don't care. There's also no hidden meaning with the lyrics; it's just a silly song about a fictional character that rose from the dead, and since all of the wounds were still present is closest to being a zombie than any other form of undead.

So, next time you play or hear the song, give these lyrics a try to lighten the mood.

D&D 5th Edition Campaign

I've decided I'll post the adventure synopses for my D&D 5th edition campaign here.

The opening plot hook for the campaign in a custom world is this:

A humanoid of unknown race has washed down river and was found by fishermen. It's been long dead, slain by the many arrows still sticking out of its body, showing its crude armor to have been inadequate. All that the kingdom knows about what is up river is that there was once a powerful empire located in the mountains, though legends say all of their lands were cursed when they fell. The kingdom is seeking all who are willing to travel to those lands and find out what is now there.

The two characters (currently) in the campaign are Gerald, a tiefling druid, and Deynes Foulker, a human rogue.  Extra equipment the starting town provided them with, since it will be some time before they will find another market, is as follows:

Donkey with pack saddle, carrying: bedroll, blanket, 2 person tent, 50' hemp rope, 3 empty sacks, shovel, tinderbox, 2 water skins, map case, fishing tackle, ink, inkpen, mess kit, 10 sheets parchment, 10 days of rations, 10 torches. This leaves 310 lbs carrying capacity left for personal gear, and has a total value of 38 gp, 7 sp, and 5 cp. They also get 110 gp for personal gear selection.

Optional rules being used in the campaign are Spell Points instead of spell slots, Massive damage with a minimum damage threshold equal to the creature's Constitution score, and Cleaving through creatures.  This provides a little more flexibility with spellcasting, and a more dangerous and cinematic combat experience.

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Adventure 1 Synopsis (day 1)

Gerald and Deynes met each other and Frerick Bennington, the town Reeve, in Cromwellshire, which is located on the edge of the known kingdoms.  They learn the strange creature resembled a cross between a frog and a human, wore reddish armor made from a material that most resembled hardened leather, and had crudely constructed arrows sticking out of its body.  It had only been dead for 3 to 4 days, and was found by the fisherman Tommas two days ago.  The villagers burned the body the day before the characters arrived, fearing it would bring the curse of the old empire onto their town.

Gerald recalls this lore about the curse of the old empire.

“Ages ago, long before even the oldest elf was born, there was a large empire in the mountains that lay to the North.  Stories about how and why it fell vary, but the one piece of information they all share is that its lands were said to be cursed from its downfall.   What exactly the curse would do isn't really known, but many legends agree that it would twist the nature of any creature in the lands, cause the plants to become hostile with thorns and brambles, and that even the dead might stay restless. ”

Investigating the area where the creature washed ashore leads Deynes to find a piece of its armor buried in the sand.  Neither Deynes nor Gerald are able to place what creature this hide once belonged to.  Tommas kept the arrowheads after the body was burned to use as fishing lures, and after inspecting them Deynes finds they don't belong to any known criminal organisation.  He also realises that though they are heavily barbed they are crudely made, and whatever forge they came from was of poor quality.  Tommas also tells them that the wood of the arrows was lighter than any in the area, and burned faster than any he had ever seen.

Frerick lets them know that after about 10 miles of grassland they'll come across a forest to the north.  The villagers sometimes go hunting or gather wood there, but never venture far in. They claim they then feel like they're being watch, and the bushes rustle when there's no animals or wind to cause it.  Frerick had believed the villagers to just be jumping at shadows with such tales, but now that the strange creature had washed ashore he fears it could be something far worse than they thought.

Gerald and Deynes then decided to head north along the river to see what they could find of the creature, what killed it, and what danger may lurk for the known kingdoms.  A little after entering the forest they spot two boars, and knowing how they defend their territory the party decides to strike first.  Gerald opens by casting Entangle while Deynes shoots at them with his shortbow.  The first boar dropped from a single arrow that hit true.  The second boar stuggled in vain against the grass, roots, and undergrowth that held it fast.  Deynes' second arrow also flew true and stuck the struggling boar down.

After butchering one of the boars and having a large meal they continued on till nightfall. They set up camp, and Deynes took first watch.

Each character received a total of 150 experience.  50 xp each from the fight with the boars, and 100 xp each from investigating in the town.